On Travel

I originally never planned on going to Kenya. This trip was all very last minute. I originally planned on backpacking around India for 6 weeks or so. But then the terrorist events in Mumbai went down in mid-November and my parents weren't comfortable with me traveling to an "unsafe place." Apparently, Sub-Saharan Africa falls under my parents' list of "safe places."

I feel like I've racked up a fairly respectable travel resume for someone my age. World travel is something I've been fortunate enough to have been exposed to my entire life. The very first memory I can recall is jumping up and down on a hotel room in Singapore, screaming for rice ice cream. Travel is a need that I have, and I start feeling antsy and go into travel withdrawal after sticking around one place for too long. I skipped my high school proms so I could use the money I saved to backpack around Montreal and Quebec City for a week after graduation. I've been to over a dozen different countries so far, almost always traveling alone. But I don't know if any of my travel experiences thus far can prepare me for Africa.

African countries seem more "foreign" to me than other foreign countries, if that makes any sense. I mean, when I was backpacking around Europe, at times it would feel like I was trekking around a larger and more detailed version of Epcot Center's World Showcase; things felt very sterile and safe and well manicured, almost like the cartoony fairytale version of Europe instead of Europe Proper. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing. But it left me wanting a bit more, I don't know what, but...something. It was great seeing historic cathedrals and walking down cobblestone lanes, looking up and seeing half-timbered houses adorned with flowerboxes in the windows. Don't get me wrong, I loved it all and I would travel to Europe again in a heartbeat. But it felt too "clean" and accessible.

I liked smelling the dust and kerosene when I went to India. I enjoyed haggling with locals in Istanbul, trying to use hand gestures and bits of German and English to get a better deal on a Rolex knockoff. Most of the world doesn't live the lifestyle Americans and Western Europeans do, and thats what I guess I want to experience. I want to travel somewhere where my first thought upon waking up is "Hey. I'm definitely not in America right now. Cool."

If you've done any amount of travel, I'm sure you know by now that there are two general types of people you'll encounter: Tourists and "Travelers."

Tourists: Often seen traveling in herds, this species is easily recognized by the ubiquitous camera hanging around their fat, pink necks and a wardrobe as loud as their voices. Their main habitat are hotel rooms, but they can often be found in enormous buses with tinted windows, staring gape-jawed at and totally insulated from the outside world. Americanus touristians won't attempt to pronounce anything thats not a brand name, travels halfway around the world to eat at Subways (Note: I'm not knocking Subway. Its cheap and good and sometimes thats all you can afford and/or feel like eating. But you know what I'm trying to say...), and shuffle back onto their buses after taking pictures of the world-famous monument/church/artwork/birdhouse so that they can be transported in their air-conditioned buses to the next attraction. They then come back home and are now authorized to say "Yeah, I've been to Venice. They don't have many public bathrooms over there." To Americanus touristians, travel resembles a big game hunting trip; you go hop on a plane, fly to a foreign land, track down you 'game' (tourist sites), 'shoot' the game using film instead of bullets, and fly back. Mission Accomplished. Don't be a Tourist!!

"Travelers": At first glance, there doesn't seem to be anything wrong with this group. And I'll be the first to admit that I used to *gasp* be one myself. This type is mainly seen around youth hostels, carrying everything they need in their North Face backpacks. They are often trying to "find themselves" and you may find them sporting dreadlocks and Birkenstocks, although a lot of the times they come from WASPy Republican backgrounds and will live off their trust fund when they get back home and grow up to be just like their parents, complaining about the capital gains tax and the black family that moved in next door. Trustifarians. Anyways.... This group takes "When in Rome" to the extreme and looks down on you if you do anything slightly "touristy," such as washing. They'll talk your ear off and tell you about how they want to find "the back door to the country, man, really live like the locals, ya know?" They think that they are privy to secret locations and events that "those tourists" don't know about yet and haven't "spoiled." The funny thing, though, is that they all clutch the same Lonely Planet or Rough Guides, meaning that they all end up in the same locations and doing the same thing. They are self-important and sanctimonious, and they fail to realize that they are just another manifestation of mass tourism, no better (or worse, for that matter) than the "tourists" they so despise. They are the hipsters of the travel world and they piss me off. Don't be a "traveler!"

Look, I realize that I've painted caricatures, but please try to find a happy middle ground and just don't be "that guy." You know the type I'm talking about. Yes. "That guy." He sucks.

Alright, time to get packing.